What do Children need?
First, they need our unconditional love. To be accepted for who they are: not for who we might want them to be. They need to know that they will be accepted, even if they “get it wrong” or fall short. If problems arise, we need to deal with those appropriately, working with the child and never losing sight of the fact that it is our love for them which guides our approach.
To help with this, the child’s second need is to be listened to.
A child of any age knows whether we are really listening to what they are saving, or whether we are somewhere else in our minds.
They can become so used to not being listened to that they stop telling us things. But if we really listen to them, remembering they are people in their own right, with their own thoughts, opinions and feelings, we grow in our understanding of them and their motivation, rather than making assumptions from our thoughts. We then help them to grow into rounded, reasonable people who have their place and value in the family, and as they mature, in society too.
So, for example as we approach holidays, when we are likely to spend more time with our children, let us remember the unconditional love they need in order to flourish.
