There are a few principles which, when applied, will help bring this about.
First, it is important that we treat our children as people whose feelings, opinions, desires and questions matter. While we may not always be able to accommodate their preferences, we need to listen and not dismiss them out of hand. Each child is unique and has his or her own way of reasoning, and sometimes fears and worries too.
We need to give due weight and regard to all of these points, so that the children are acknowledged as people.
It’s a matter of honouring our children, and there is no doubt that, if we honour and respect them as real people in their own right, they in turn will honour and respect us and others. It is obvious from our actions, words and tone of voice whether we are taking them seriously and respecting them
We need to love our children unconditionally. so there may be times when we do not love their behaviour. but we never stop loving the child. If a child does something Inappropriate, rather than making him or her suffer by using a reprimand or sanction, try using it as an opportunity for teaching the child and solving the problem together. In order to be able to solve a problem together, children need to know that we will listen without judgment and that they won’t get into trouble for telling us what they’ve done or what they feel.
A useful tip when children behave inappropriately is not to make assumptions about their motives.
We usually don’t know for sure why they acted as they did, and it is not useful to hold negative ideas about the child’s behaviour but rather to discuss it and sort it out together.
A wise American writer on parenting advises us to do less of the talking and ask our children more questions so that they can talk more.
He also says that dictating to them is far less productive than hearing their ideas and feelings.
These points may help us to build a happy relationship with our children and to keep a sense of perspective. After all, whether your child spills the milk today or forgets to do something doesn’t matter nearly as much as the things we the parents do that either help or hinder him or her towards becoming a decent. Responsible compassionate person.
